Love: Color Blind & Ageless?

Love in Color iiI confess, I don’t know what the protocol is so I just snatched these images from FB… all credits to the designer, whoever you are.

I saw this just now and snatched it as they put into words a thought that has been whirling around my mind lately. Having had relationships of all sorts with men across the age spectrum and geographic hemisphere, within Christendom and without, I have come to one conclusion, ‘age is no guarantee of right actions, attitudes nor perspectives’!

Love in Color

Neither is color, race nor ethnicity!

When panning for gold, the only thing that really matters is, ‘Is there a nugget of gold left in the pan?’ It is then up to each of us to determine what size nugget is worth our life-time commitment.

So to panning I go…

Sparks!

Black, But Lovely 2

Depression and discouragement are not life-giving so here is the follow-up to my previous post.

The most eligible warrior prince of all times…and eternity inspired a book just for ‘dark girls’. It’s called The Song of Solomon! It’s a story of love – leading to marriage between a King and a BLACK girl…she is Dark But Lovely, just like you! It’s about dark girls – however you define darkness – whether physical, mental, spiritual – imperfect, whatever! We are all included in one way or another!

See for yourself – it’s about YOU!

She

How right they are to adore you!

English: Heart shaped shadow cast by a ring on...

Dark am I, yet lovely,
    daughters of Jerusalem,
dark like the tents of Kedar,

    like the tent curtains of Solomon.[c]
Do not stare at me because I am dark,
    because I am darkened by the sun.

My mother’s sons were angry with me
    and made me take care of the vineyards;
    my own vineyard I had to neglect.
Tell me, you whom I love,
    where you graze your flock
    and where you rest your sheep at midday.
Why should I be like a veiled woman
    beside the flocks of your friends?

Friends

If you do not know, most beautiful of women,

    follow the tracks of the sheep
and graze your young goats
    by the tents of the shepherds.

He

I liken you, my darling, to a mare
    among Pharaoh’s chariot horses.
10 Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings,
    your neck with strings of jewels.
11 We will make you earrings of gold,
    studded with silver.

She

12 While the king was at his table,
    my perfume spread its fragrance.
13 My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh
    resting between my breasts.
14 My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms
    from the vineyards of En Gedi.

He

15 How beautiful you are, my darling!
    Oh, how beautiful!
    Your eyes are doves.

The Song 1:5-5, The Message Bible

Besides, let us not be conformed to this world, but rather, let us make the choice to be transformed by the renewing of our minds in order that we may prove that which is the good, pleasing and perfect will of God – after all, it was His desire to design such a rainbow-coloured humanity.

I am dark, but lovely.

DivineSpark!

Black, But Lovely

Having recently moved house, I had the great privilege of spending time with the ‘Founder and CEO’ of the Welcoming Committee of the local Restaurant Quarter – read, neighbour noticing my recent arrival asking my out on a ‘let me show you around the area’ date. I humored him and surprisingly he was good company and a perfect gentleman throughout. No, this is not a blow-by-blow of the night’s happenings – that would be in bad taste, wouldn’t it? Rather this is a report of a most distressing piece of information or ‘fact’ as he calls it.

Acknowledging that ‘John’* was good company and seemed open to serious conversation, I took the opportunity to ask the following question that I know has been on the mind of many a single, black female for …well, 19when…

English: Black and white icon of a question mark.

‘In your opinion, what is it about black women that makes white women the preferred choice to so many black men?’

 

The Answer?

 

It was his – single, black, 33 yrs old, self-employed, father of 1 – opinion that

 

  • Black women are untrustworthy, in that they will ‘be with’ a man purely for what they can get – the money, the stuff – even though in their heart they know they ‘don’t love him’ and all while cheating on him. He reasons that a white woman would not do that. Why, you ask? Because the mere fact that she is with him indicates that she actually wants to be with the black man, so it’s not about the possibility of accumulating stuff!
  • White women end up in relationships with black men because they love their ‘blackness’. That is the primary attraction. The black woman however does not appreciate – in my own words…the magnificence of their man’s blackness – the man and therefore takes him for granted and or treat him badly …and cheats on him with another black man who had more ‘stuff’! He hastens to add that he knows that black men also cheat and that they cannot even trust themselves but still, ‘if the woman doesn’t want them she should just leave them and not play games.
  • In an argument, black women will throw ‘anything’ she gets her hands on, she can break every plate in the kitchen just because she’s upset however a white woman would not do that sort of thing!

 

Suffice to say after having had a good night so far I suddenly felt, not only sad to the brink of tears but sick to the stomach that any black man would categorize the vast majority of black women in this way. After all, I am a black woman – and happily so, but he was not by any stretch of the imagination describing me so obviously I asked if he was joking!

 

It went downhill from there as he clarified for me that these are the ‘facts’ of how black women behave and that of all his black male friends with black girls, none of the girls are any good!!!!! Immediately I remembered a statement I heard some time ago suggesting that our magnificent black men are attracted to, will happily love and absolutely pursue sleeping with the magnificent black girl but would often prefer the white girl for marriage and family.

 

…and something got stuck in my throat. I still hasn’t moved.

Marry Me: I’m Good for Your Health!

In continuation of my series on the consequences of marriage, I welcome you to part 3 of my journey to prove my nubility. This series is based on ‘A Comprehensive Review of Literature on the Consequences of Marriage for African Americans’ – which for my purposes I will classify as people of African descent.

In an effort to not bore you with statistical evidence that marrying me would have a positive effect on your psychological well-being, I offer in stead the findings – see the review’s link above for details – from numerous studies  over the years which conclude the following:

Calm Lake

Calm Lake (Photo credit: Moyan_Brenn)

  • married ‘people of African descent’ report being happier,
  • feeling more satisfied with life,
  • report fewer emotional problems than their unmarried peers,
  • are less likely to commit suicide or express support for suicide and
  • are more outgoing.

The research in this area indicates that in my usual-female-self-sacrificing-way marrying me will do more for your psychological well-being than it will do for me – but I’m just a saint really.

It is my opinion therefore that if marrying me will do all this for you as well as save you from killing yourself, then there really is no reason for you to continue to jeopardise your psychological well-being and your life any further.

…uhm, is this a good reason?

Divine Spark 🙂

PS – There is more…

Marry Me For Money!

A comprehensive review of literature and surveys on the consequences of marriage for African Americans – for the sake of argument let’s just say people of African descent – have summised that marriage promotes the economic, social, familial, and psychological well-being of both men and women.

2010 OHNY: Tom Otterness Studio - Marriage of ...

2010 OHNY: Tom Otterness Studio – Marriage of Money and Real Estate (Photo credit: wallyg)

Over the next few posts therefore, I think it only prudent and fair that I take this opportunity to make my case. This is purely academic!

In this post I will therefore present to you my economic skills, or as I like to call it, my wealth-creating powers. Marrying me will bring the following results:

  • Increased earnings,
  • higher levels of occupational prestige than our unmarried peers,
  • protection from economic trouble as we will be significantly less likely to suffer from material hardship such as insufficient funds to pay bills and
  • increased chances of owning a home.

I believe so strongly in over-delivery, going beyond duty and in wealth-creation that I go further to ensure that marrying me will also result in:

  • us earning 13-18% more than our never-married peers and
  • you, if you partner with me – or any other woman of African descent, will be 30% less likely to fall into poverty.

…and of course, if we become parents our wealth-creating powers will go into overdrive!

Please be aware however that in spite of my wealth-creating party favors, I am still subject to economic downturns, recessions, stock market crashes, acts of terrorism, acts of God, death and dis-ease like and any and all situations and conditions which are out of my hands. I am however resilient, determined and able to adapt!

So from an economic standpoint, this is what I bring to the party and I would now like to present to you my social and familial prowess… next post!

Read the entire Comprehensive Review of Literature on the The Consequences of Marriage for African Americans

by The Institute of American Values

Sparks!

Relationship Laws

“If you have endured broken relationships and are in the process of becoming whole, it is very important to realize that you must have boundaries in which to live by in order to maintain the wholeness that you have received.  The Relationship Laws for Ladies Who Love God are specific, detailed confessions that help capture the essence of your newfound personal wholeness and how to go about maintaining it.  These “Laws” are intended to help you discern your motives for being in particular relationship, whether or not that relationship is

Captivated by the hidden beauty of the bride...

Captivated by the hidden beauty of the bride… (Photo credit: Hafsa Nabeel)

consistent with your godly values, and most importantly, whether or not a relationship would enhance your wholeness or cause further brokenness.

1. I am rooted, grounded, fixed and founded in the Love of God, not a position, title, having “Mrs.” in front of my name, not money, my looks, being cute, being smart or being seen.

2. I respect myself enough to lay boundaries in all relationships personally and professionally.

…  Read more at Whole Magazine by Maria Breeden”  The Fulltime Girl (proper crediting for a great article)

Related Stuff
Be Captivating by Setting Boundaries This book by the fabulous John & Stasi is fascinating and well worth the investment and time to acquire, read and digest. It will re-inforce your sense of self and will help the male reader to understand the very heart of ‘every’ woman. It will definitely help women understand their own yearnings and enable successful boundary setting. Suggesting? Read the rest of the article then get Captivating.

Sparks!

Marriage: Who Has Majority Stake?

Is marriage solely for our own enjoyment, benefit, and pleasure? Or could it be that marriage is a crucial component in God’s strategy for reaching the lost with the good news of Jesus?

Who “owns” the institution fo marriage? Are our marriages really “ours” to do whatever we want with: to save, maintain, improve, throw away, and abandon? Or does God possibly have any say in how our marriages end up? What if He does have the majority stake in all marriages, especially Christian ones? Like any other property owned by someone else, if I’m entrusted with the responsibility to care for that property, then it matters what I choose to do or not do with it when it is in my care.” Get Married for Christ’s Sake, Kenny Jackson

Are U Ready
                                                         Are U Ready (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So this is the opening statement of Chapter 1 and I had to stop for a moment.

If God does in fact have majority stake in our marriages, it stands to reason that our preparation should be determined by His purpose for marriage in the first place. And if marriage is something He puts in our care He must ensure that I am ready, capable and responsible enough to be entrusted with it. Les may be right, if I’m still single maybe it is because I’m just not ready for God’s marriage.

Life Challenge:

  • Hold my definition and expectations of marriage up against the Word of God to check whether God and I are singing from the same hymn sheet.

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Is He/She Interested?

Found this article on FB and thought I’d do a self-assessment…dissection? Anyhow, the purple bits will be my take:

  • She tells you. Eventually
  • Pay attention to body language.  If she leans into you, or if she is kind of side ways to you.  If she is leaning into you, she’s interested. Naturally attentive but not necessarily interested in you as a potential ‘beau’… If she is sideways, she is creating distance.  Purse on the table in the restaurant is putting an object between you two, thus causing space.  When dancing, if she is creating arms length space, she isn’t into you. – I’m being my ‘usual’ shy, reserved self. Yes! I said SHY. What?
  • If she is nosy and asks many questions about you, and your life, she is totally into you. – or is intentional about investing her time wisely…hence the investigation…’interest’.
  • You’re not that funny, but she laughs at everything you say.  She is totally into you. – or she is over-stimulated on caffeine (dutch courage) or genuinely doesn’t want you to feel embarrassed that the date is a bum.
  • She always has time for you.  She’s into you. – yeah, or she’s just a naturally kind, patience, longsuffering and caring person. Don’t be pessimistic…she’s into you…
  • She never leaves you hanging, or a call/text message/posting unanswered.  She answers right away.  She’s into you. until you see this message, ‘SERVICE ERROR 305:MESSAGE DELIVERY FAILED. FURTHER MESSAGES WILL BE CHARGED TO YOUR ACCOUNT.’
  • On a date, she twirls her hair, or a necklace, or plays with a button on her blouse, she is into you. – she could be bored or nervous?!
  • She has empathy for you when something goes array, or something bothers you.  She has feelings for you, and wants to show it. – or she has a pastoral anointing and is just naturally a caring, empathic person.
  • She mothers in a small way.  She wants to care for you, and so she is into you. – …sigh…maybe. Nurses care for you.
  • She goes to the restroom a lot on your date.  She is making sure she looks her best for you. – or she is limiting the amount of time she has to sit in front of you…laughing at your jokes. No, I don’t mean to be nasty, I’m being honest. Come on now, don’t leave me standing here on my own!
  • She gives you undivided attention.  No cell calls or texts when with you. – She learnt a long time ago to treat people as you would like to be treated.
  • She compliments you, encourages you, and sends appreciation your way.  She’s into you. – …kind, honest, considerate of other people’s feelings.
  • She bats her eyelashes and smiles a lot.  She’s into you. – that sounds more like it…are those false lashes getting in her eyes? No? She may be into you beau, wooohooo!
  • She seems like she doesn’t want the date to end, she will kind of be blusy when it is time to wrap it up.  She wants to spend more time with you.  She is into you. – There’s nothing interesting on tv at 8:30pm so why not? But it’s quite likely she enjoys being with you…this time round.
  • She finds ways to touch you.  A bump, touching your shirt and complimenting it, talking and touching you as she talks. – gotcha! Woohooo! If she does that to everyone, she could be…a socialTourette’.
  • She asks questions about things you like to do so she can see herself doing those things with you.  Future thinking. – Intentionally assessing how much time to invest. So we have anything in common? Is this worth pursuing?
  • Online.  There aren’t too many of your posts that she doesn’t comment on. -Assessment…curiousity…maybe enchantment.
  • Online.  She goes the extra effort and posts on your wall, or personal blog space. – you could be in for a chance.
CatnipComic070_Colour

CatnipComic070_Colour (Photo credit: Catnip Cat by Jeff Hoyle)

No, this is not about me trying to discourage any lovely folk from believing and/or using these tips. I’m merely pointing out that people are…well, people! We are seldom ‘cookie-cutter-cute’ and seldom do we adhere to set rules of emotional conduct just because there is a statistic in the ether.

My addition to this would be to listen carefully to both the spoken words and the silences. I believe it is unwise to try to fit people into boxes because we then set ourselves up for disappointment. We all know what roses look like but if we were to assume that ALL roses look-alike in their detail and smell alike, we would miss countless varieties of roses on the assumption that ‘we know that one already’.

It is my opinion therefore that you add wisdom, prayer and a pound or two of common sense when trying to assess an individual and even so, it is time alone that will reveal the truth. As much as we all wish God in His infinite wisdom would take ‘counsel’ and hand us a manual for guaranteed success in these matters, the bottom line is we can never really know the heart of anyone. Not by statistics, assessment nor even the things they say.

That’s why it is so important to enter in with both eyes wide open, a heart submitted to God’s wisdom, a willingness to wait, check and double-check and even then employ the wisdom of a multitude of good counsel. You would be amazed how skilled some are at deception until you are almost in too deep.

Selah!

Find or Be Found

According to the website Single Season there are quite a few places I can expect to find or be found so I figure what the heck, let’s have a good look. So here is the list, does it get you thinking? Oh by the way, the purple inserts are mine…

  1. Airport Lounge – I’m not a frequent flyer yet so unless I get a job at the an Airport that’s out.
  2. Art gallery uhm… enhance my appreciation of art or fine some sort of art I can honestly gush over.
  3. Barbershop (take a young brother/nephew) – aah…uhm…
  4. Birthday parties –
  5. Book club – uhm…Do men read…much? Honestly, I don’t know. If so, what kinds of books would be enjoyable or informative for both genders? Really. Business…technical books? Books about sports? Fishing? Cars? Boys Toys? Ok…I’m naive.
  6. Bookstore – Been to Floyd’s, London numerous times. A few Dads and Grand Dads…!? Don’t do married men nor …well. Doesn’t seem promising, especially since Amazon and Kindle. Bad Amazon!!!
  7. Business events/networking uhm, Ok…sharpen my networking skills.
  8. Careers fair – ?
  9. Charitable service – Currently spend waaay, too much time in Church meetings, committees, community planning meetings and the male:female ratio is the same…oh with lots of married and/or Older men…with a capital Oh!
  10. Christenings – sigh…
  11. Church – Home congregation has a ratio problem and Church Trawling ‘me no likey-likey’. I want to be where I’m suppose to be, doing what I’m suppose to be doing at the time I’m suppose to be doing it and just be found! After all, God knows where I live!!! This idea is great for men though…calling all men!
  12. Church conferences/events (at other churches too) – I work too hard…I knew it! I’m always the busy bee among all the other busy bees getting the job done and darn it, I always forget to (a) check for the r
    Search Privacy

    Search Privacy (Photo credit: mushon)

    ing (b) smile more (c) work with one eye open! Note to self – Multi-task!

  13. Church ministry team – Didn’t I just say their was a ratio issue… aha! I’ll join CVM and try to get my congregation to volunteer as party hosts for the Pentecost Festival. #1 is no good for me…but I just started following them on twitter…Oh the sacrifices I make for my virtual journey buddies. And #2, local missions, Church networking and way more important is the potential to reach men…at least for the next generation…uhm, maybe.
  14. Coffee shop – How many Hot Chocolates would I have to daintily sip on before you Sir, walk across and ask if you may join me?
  15. Comedy club – not really feeling the feasibility of this one…while I’m rolling on the floor, holding my belly, gasping for air and mopping up my tears…but it could work.
  16. Commute to work – Same journey everyday at about the same time. Beloved Nana and her hubby making their daily trip for a stint of shopping or to pick up their pension; Mums with their small, medium or large ‘bundles of joy’, students and lots of guys with their trousers below their bums…!>@%&~)#? I think I need to move, don’t you? Oh, and there’s that one-legged guy with his dog. But hey now…don’t be picky!
  17. Engagement parties – Note to Self: Find new friends who are getting engaged ‘soonest’.
  18. Evening classes (i.e. photography, cooking, accounting, dance) – Accounting, done! Prospects, none!
  19. Finance seminars – uhm, promising. But would a guy try to pick up a girl while admittedly needing to attend a finance seminar…possibly under the cover of darkness? Just kidding. Sounds workable.
  20. Gospel concerts – I feel like ‘Country Mouse’ now. How many Gospel Concerts do I really need to go to in one lifetime? Besides, who goes to these things with ‘scope him out, catch his eye, somehow get him to ask for my number’ as their primary agenda or does it require a skilled ‘Halle-may-I-have-your-number-please-lujah’? Gain new skills!
  21. Hairdressers (take a young sister/niece) – Possibly a fab idea for non-UK residents but us UK-ites are ‘blessed’ with a predominantly female:male ratio in Hairdressing. So unless…ahem…
  22. Health food store – So here’s my shopping list: psyllium husk, vitamin a-z?, 1 born-again tall, dark & handsome, rye bread, tea tree oil, an engagement ring and soy milk. How’s that?
  23. Library – shhhh! No talking.
  24. Gyms – Ok…I’m gonna join the gym. It’s my New Year’s Resolution for 2014. Promise.
  25. Supermarket – ‘Would you pass me that ‘Home Alone’ dvd from the top rack please? So, do you come here often?’ Yes, we sell dvds in our supermarkets, don’t you?
  26. Local town meeting – oooh…not one more meeting…groan.
  27. Lunch breaks (get away from the office) – Note to Self: Cancel Desk-date.
  28. Museum –  Been…done…t-shirt…families…grands a plenty.
  29. Online dating sites – I’ve only seen one that says ‘Christian’ that actually seem to have ‘real’ Christian men on it. Maybe it’s just me. Check out Christian Connections.
  30. Opera – Les Miserable! I believe you should never begin something you don’t want in your life…longterm!
  31. Professional Dating service – Isn’t this just available to Asians and/or Muslims? Scratching head… Research!
  32. School reunion – oooooh…3 steps forward, 15 back?
  33. Sports (i.e. Tennis or Golf club) – Fab for sports fanatics. Note to Self: Love Sports! It’s good for you.
  34. Sports events (i.e. baseball, football) – ….uhm Les Miserable!!! If I love him then I…’ll try reeeally hard to love his sports. Until then, no thanks.
  35. Support groups – ‘…sniffle, sob, sob…’. What kind o f support group lends itself to dating? Ponder! AA…Stop Smoking…Drug Rehab…Grieve Counselling…oy!
  36. Technology event – I don’t know my jpeg from my Drupal so this could work. Calling all Teachers! (Males Please…did I say Christian?)
  37. Theatre – This is a really long list. Something here should work.
  38. Volunteer work – Since I’m doing a lot of these things I should be hitched already, no?
  39. Walking/Public transportation (instead of driving) – tick
  40. Walks in the park – families…couples…dog-loving (read ‘kissy-kissy-dog-loving’) walkers… Find new park!
  41. Weddings – Find new friends who are getting married…or Gate Crash!
  42. Wine tasting evening – Develop an appreciation for alcohol.
  43. Word of Mouth – The boys don’t talk…they already have an abundance of choices. The girls? We all have the same problem. Mum, Grand, Dad…oy! The stress is already too great.

I truly hope you feel encouraged by this list. You now have 43 more chances of finding…or being found.

As for me, I’m getting some books and moving to Mars!
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The Church’s Biggest Challenge: Singles?

Lauren says, “I do believe that there should be some place where I, and other singles, can acknowledge the desire for sexual relationships and, in the context of rich church tradition and in the company of older Christians, try to figure out what we can do about it.”

That’s a fair request.

“Seriously, folks, what church do you know that actually talks to teens about why not to sleep around? And then we send these kids off to college and expect them to stay chaste for four years? Even if a church provides minimal help along this line for the high school set—mainly because that is the age range where many people first have sex—church reinforcement dribbles to nothing during the college years. Unfortunately, the 20-24 age bracket has the highest abortion rates in this country.”

…Ouch. She’s got a point.

“Christian singles I talk to considered virginity as a waiting room until God produced the right mate. When that waiting room started to look like permanent lodging, despair set in.”

“And it’s not just the doing without sex. Have you ever noticed how singles never get touched? It’s living in this bubble of no hugs, no physical contact whatsoever. Small wonder so many revert to pets (I have three cuddly cats) and professional massages.”

“Singles struggle through all this alone. The childless ones get mocked at family reunions or treated as though they are still teen-agers. Promiscuous friends who break every biblical rule in the book end up married, with healthy children. God sure didn’t punish them. But he’s not rewarding us. And so, singles see their reasons for abstinence fading as they arrive in their mid-thirties. Women see their fertile years creep down to the single digits. All the old arguments about waiting for God to bring them romance—remember Ann Kiemel’s book I Gave God Time?—don’t ring true anymore.”

These excerpts are from an article, ‘No One Wants to Talk About It‘ by Julia Duin which caused a big stir more than a decade ago. Has the Church succeeded in at least attempting to address these issues?  I don’t by any means put myself forward as a panacea of truth in these matters…hey, I’m unmarried…sigh, but I am willing to have the conversation, facilitate the discussion and try to light a candle or even just a spark. As the article aptly states, the usual clichés do not work, they are not helpful and they are certainly not life-giving.

I would therefore like to invite you, the Church to join me in dissecting this issue to come up with Godly solutions, because God has one…two…an infinite supply of answers to our every woe. So…

Follow me on Twitter or be a friend on FB and let’s get this thing addressed! One can chase a thousand, two ten thousand but all of us? Great things could happen!

Holy Things

He turned over the plans for everything that God’s Spirit had brought to his mind: the design of the courtyards, the arrangements of rooms, and the closets for storing all the holy things. The Message Bible, 1 Chronicles 28:12

This is a journey I have embarked on with my faith anchored in the hope of sharing my life with someone, a suitable counterpart for me but in all I do I must remember this

SimplyHoly

It is God who sets for me great borders

And puts great passions in my heart –

It is He who knows His plans for me

He created my inner parts –

He knows my todays and all my tomorrows

And I must trust He knows what’s best –

So as I take each hopeful step

I must to Him  my plans subject.

So in planning and strategizing and doing all the wonderful things we must do, can do or should do …determining the design of the courtyards, the arrangements of rooms, and the closets for storing…all so we can get what we want, let us remember we are in fact first and foremost, holy things – His Temple!

‘Dating with Passion’ by Rob Eagar will challenge, correct and re-align your thinking as you plan your pursuit of marriage. It will help you ‘design the courtyards’ while emphasizing the main thing, You Are Holy Things! Then learn as much as you can about setting boundaries from ‘Boundaries in Dating’ by Dr. Henry Cloud  and Dr. John Townsend. Check them out here…Never, never forget, you are a Holy Thing!

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xx

The Naked Truth

Belong2Jesus

W A I T! ! ! !   Follow Tweety Bird’s example above…and say it like you mean it so you don’t slip into depression in 3 mins 20 sec! Now watch the trailer then please go buy the film, It offers a Christian perspective on finding purpose while single…yay!!! good news at last!

Preparation – Part 2

So I agree that sometimes marriage eludes us simply because we are not prepared…or sufficiently prepared for marriage, (see part 1). Sometimes it may be that we are still arrogantly wrapped up in the thought that the great God instituted marriage just to satisfy our desires and fulfil our plans.

One the other side of this golden coin however, are the following truths:

  1. There are countless beautiful, committed, ‘fully-surrendered-to-God ‘s-will-and-purpose’ Christian women who are by anyone’s standards, who are perfectly marriagable…but they are still single.
  2. The ratio of Christian men to women is…well, disappointing to say the least. Let’s look at the stats according to Tony Walter, “Why are Most Churchgoers Women? A Literature Review,”Vox Evangelica 20 (1990):73-90:
  • In England, out of every 100 church attenders, 55 are women and 45 men (in England
    Unique Heart

    Unique Heart (Photo credit: WolfS♡ul)

    generally, women outnumber men slightly, 51:49). The difference is most marked in liberal nonconformist churches, such as Methodist (60:40) and United Reformed (57:43), which tend to lack males aged 20-40. Evangelical churches have a more even balance, with Baptists 57:43 and independent churches 53:47. The Church of

    England has a ratio of 55:45, and the Roman Catholics 54:46 (Nationwide Initiative in Evangelism 1980). The ratios in Wales (61:39) !!!!! and Scotland (Protestant 63:37, Catholic 57:43)
  • In the USA, the patterns are somewhat different, with the more evangelical churches being particularly attractive to women (Pentecostals 2:1, Baptists 3:2)

If you wish to read the rest of this review please click the link above. I’m too depressed now to read the rest of it, interesting as it is…sniffle…

The point I was trying to make…would you pass me the tissue please?  is that regardless how fully ‘prepped and loaded’ we are as Christian women…there are many absolutely nubile Christian women who will never marry!!!!!!

There…I said it! Where’s that darn post about what to do while waiting?

Not feeling so sparky right now. x

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While We Wait

We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but GOD’s purpose prevails.                            The Message Bible, Pro 19:21

We live in a microwave world, a ‘everything when I need it’ world. Gone are the days when we would save up some money to buy that ‘hot’ coat we see in the shop window. Now, we just reach for the credit card and pay later!

Sadly the societal mindset in the 21st century is increasingly that we should be able to get everything we want when we want just because…well, we want it! On this life journey however we all, and especially those who are single, must stay fully aware that there is still life in spite of singleness… I know, shocking!…and that while we wait for the gift there is much work to be done.

So, here’s the ‘To Do’:

  • Look for ways to be productive whether through volunteering in your community or church;
  • Be ready and available to take those God appointments, you know the kind…you just happen to be in the right place at the right time to see someone in need and you happen to be in a position to give a word of encouragement or offer some other kind of support, yeah those, look out for them;
  • Take time to advance your education or develop new…or old skills;
  • Determine to give of yourself to others – it will help keep your mind off yourself and expand your network of  acquaintances and even build new friendships;
  • Choose to become the best person you can be by paying close attention to who God says you are, what passions He has placed in your heart and what problems He has given you the solutions for and
  • Finally, set your heart and mind to learn from Jesus and pray always, in good times and not-so-good times.

When its all said and done, it is God’s plans and purposes that will prevail so keep the main thing the main thing!

DivineSparks!

While-you-wait

While you wait, you might like this fabulous book by Emily Stimpsom titled ‘The Catholic Girl’s Survival Guide for the Single Years: The Nuts and Bolts of Staying Sane and Happy While Waiting on Mr. Right’…I know, it’s a long title but check it out here…//
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