Love: Color Blind & Ageless?

Love in Color iiI confess, I don’t know what the protocol is so I just snatched these images from FB… all credits to the designer, whoever you are.

I saw this just now and snatched it as they put into words a thought that has been whirling around my mind lately. Having had relationships of all sorts with men across the age spectrum and geographic hemisphere, within Christendom and without, I have come to one conclusion, ‘age is no guarantee of right actions, attitudes nor perspectives’!

Love in Color

Neither is color, race nor ethnicity!

When panning for gold, the only thing that really matters is, ‘Is there a nugget of gold left in the pan?’ It is then up to each of us to determine what size nugget is worth our life-time commitment.

So to panning I go…

Sparks!

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What Men Want

The now fabulous ‘Reality Expert‘ says ‘Men want women to be nurturing, supportive and gentle’.

“Ladies we get it…you are more than capable of making your own money, running your own businesses, making your own decisions, and negotiating your own deals. That’s not the question…the question becomes do you really WANT to have to pay your own bills, cut your own grass, take out your own trash and fight all your own fights? If your answer to that question is “yes” then more power to you, but I’m more than willing to bet that most women would not mind having a partner to help share the load with. ….Maybe it’s time men chose we before me and women chose family over feminism!” Blog post, I am Feminist Hear Me Roar

Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women'...

When I read the above paragraph from the post I immediately knew where I stood but I couldn’t help but wonder ‘which woman, under what circumstances would rather be woman-all-BY-herself? But then, we all have the potential to be the result of our individual or collective experiences and unfortunately, sometimes that ‘result’ is merely a reaction to a negative rather than a CHOICE. But that’s a talk for another day. Today, I would rather clarify my own position.

So here goes.

As an unattached female, I am certainly capable of making my own money, setting up and running my own business and doing all – and more – mentioned above. I am also wise enough to acknowledge and joyfully embrace my Designer Desires – the desire to share my life in its entirety, from the uttermost to the innermost with another is wired into my DNA. It’s a designer thing! And regardless what anyone says, every living, breathing human being has a Designer Desire because we were all designed to receive love from God and to give love to God. This insatiable hunger finds its manifestation in humanity is various ways – our desire for intimacy, for sex or for some other ‘fulfilment’ – some have tried more shoes, more branded items, faster cars, more money, bigger, better, more. But the hunger is insatiable if God is not the number one choice.

Having said all that, I put my hand up and openly confess that I want to me married – not because I need him to pay the bills or cut the lawn..but please honey, do cut the lawn… but more importantly, I want to share my life with someone, who loves God and who desires above all things to hear God say ‘well done!’ I want to be intimately involved in helping him become all that God designed him to be and for him to willing be that for me. I want to be vulnerable and naked – yet unashamed – to be challenged and buffed and polished. I want to be iron rubbing up against iron. I want to face the challenges of life with someone who is one with me. I want to be there with him in every and any situation, good, bad or ugly – to stand as one in the face of whatever storm we need to face.

So I’m content to be seen as a disappointment in the eyes of the ‘feminist’. I can live with that because beyond individuality, there is the higher call to unity. Singleness has however taught me to see how easily our unfulfilled need for partnership can force us to become hardened, firm, determined, self-reliant and self-preserving. It is therefore understandable how when a man suddenly darkens her doorway her firmly established battlement and highly developed self-protecting instincts often result in the clash of thunder and lightning of the feminist’s strength – and no date, no marriage and continued need of self-reliance!

No! Not for me. I will happily wear the trousers when I need to set up and run my businesses and the like but I have every intention to leave my trousers at the door when I come home. I have no desire to be KING in my home – it’s hard enough just being woman!

Sparks!

Marry Me For God’s Sake!

“If you want to be free to serve Jesus, there’s no question—stay single. Marriage takes a lot of time. But if you want to become more like Jesus, I can’t imagine any better thing to do than to get married. Being married forces you to face some character issues you’d never have to face otherwise.” Sacred Marriage by Gary L. Thomas

As such, I think I am perfectly poised to fill this vacancy in your life for the following reasons:

  • I am still a work in progress therefore I am constantly growing, changing and on a journey to becoming whole.

    Obstacle

    Obstacle (Photo credit: The U.S. Army)

  • I am well equipped to buff, polish and shine your own personality and to help develop character, resilience and patience thus helping you in your journey towards reflecting Jesus more and more each day.
  • My various idiosyncrasies, though diminishing…multiplying in flux, will provide an ample supply of challenges to contribute to the sanctification process, the Potter’s wheel and the refiner’s fire that are so necessary in your journey toward dying to self.

I believe I come as a full package capable of advancing your ultimate goal to be holy, to love God first, most and best and to love your fellow-man as yourself. Marry me will accelerate the sharpening and polishing of your character, heart motivations and your ability to grow in understanding of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

Did I say I’m not perfect yet? According to Sacred Marriage by Gary L. Thomas, that makes me perfect for you!  So, this is my case for marriage. Do you have any questions?

My thanks to the Institute of American Values for their Literature Review of the Consequences of Marriage for African Americans. It is a good read. Go check it out for the full review.

Words Create

English: Think you already knew the old saying...

English: Think you already knew the old saying: “A picture is worth a thousand words?” Think again. Let’s ask Andy and see what he says… What’s your explanation? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What if you were told that your words had creative power and that they had far greater impact in your life than you thought?

What if you had the power in your mouth to determine or at the very least contribute to the outcome of your life?

What if by simply exercising a little self-discipline you could empower yourself and become more positive in the process? Would you?

“Do you know anybody, maybe even yourself, who loves to use phrases like: “This only happens to me”, “Life’s a b*tch“, “I caaaaaaaaan’t!”, “Never!”, “I just can’t win”, “I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t”.

The biggest problem with these phrases is not that they are negative or self centered, it’s that they stop you from taking action. Phrases like this paralyze us and fool us into thinking that we have no power and no choice. Which is nonsense.

What if our words always made us and who ever we are talking to feel inspired, empowered and re-energized?

I’ve created a list of some of the top five words and phrases you might want to delete from your vocabulary. I also included some replacements!

1. I can’t

You’re right! If you say you can’t, it’s over. Just that simple. The door is closed and locked. However, maybe you’re right. Maybe at this moment you can’t run 3 miles at once, maybe you can’t complete the project in 3 hours, maybe you can’t immediately forgive someone. With that said, you must learn to. I must learn, I will learn, I’m preparing myself to...is a much more empowering phrase that will propel you to take action, take risks and grow.”

Read the entire post by the fabulous Jeff Moore at My Everyday Power Blog

Related Stuff
As A Man Thinketh Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, so what’s in your heart? Are you thinking right?

…and click this one, it’s a must get!

Divinesparks x

Relationship Laws

“If you have endured broken relationships and are in the process of becoming whole, it is very important to realize that you must have boundaries in which to live by in order to maintain the wholeness that you have received.  The Relationship Laws for Ladies Who Love God are specific, detailed confessions that help capture the essence of your newfound personal wholeness and how to go about maintaining it.  These “Laws” are intended to help you discern your motives for being in particular relationship, whether or not that relationship is

Captivated by the hidden beauty of the bride...

Captivated by the hidden beauty of the bride… (Photo credit: Hafsa Nabeel)

consistent with your godly values, and most importantly, whether or not a relationship would enhance your wholeness or cause further brokenness.

1. I am rooted, grounded, fixed and founded in the Love of God, not a position, title, having “Mrs.” in front of my name, not money, my looks, being cute, being smart or being seen.

2. I respect myself enough to lay boundaries in all relationships personally and professionally.

…  Read more at Whole Magazine by Maria Breeden”  The Fulltime Girl (proper crediting for a great article)

Related Stuff
Be Captivating by Setting Boundaries This book by the fabulous John & Stasi is fascinating and well worth the investment and time to acquire, read and digest. It will re-inforce your sense of self and will help the male reader to understand the very heart of ‘every’ woman. It will definitely help women understand their own yearnings and enable successful boundary setting. Suggesting? Read the rest of the article then get Captivating.

Sparks!

Marriage: Who Has Majority Stake?

Is marriage solely for our own enjoyment, benefit, and pleasure? Or could it be that marriage is a crucial component in God’s strategy for reaching the lost with the good news of Jesus?

Who “owns” the institution fo marriage? Are our marriages really “ours” to do whatever we want with: to save, maintain, improve, throw away, and abandon? Or does God possibly have any say in how our marriages end up? What if He does have the majority stake in all marriages, especially Christian ones? Like any other property owned by someone else, if I’m entrusted with the responsibility to care for that property, then it matters what I choose to do or not do with it when it is in my care.” Get Married for Christ’s Sake, Kenny Jackson

Are U Ready
                                                         Are U Ready (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So this is the opening statement of Chapter 1 and I had to stop for a moment.

If God does in fact have majority stake in our marriages, it stands to reason that our preparation should be determined by His purpose for marriage in the first place. And if marriage is something He puts in our care He must ensure that I am ready, capable and responsible enough to be entrusted with it. Les may be right, if I’m still single maybe it is because I’m just not ready for God’s marriage.

Life Challenge:

  • Hold my definition and expectations of marriage up against the Word of God to check whether God and I are singing from the same hymn sheet.

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Vacancy: Apply Within!

Vacancy

Vacancy (Photo credit: EricMagnuson)

“Have you ever been for a job interview? When you went to try and find a job, did you walk in there arrogant and proud thinking, “Well, I’m really going to grill these people to make sure that they give me the right kind of benefits that I want”?

 “Did you walk in there with a full list of questions that you wanted to ask your prospective employer, and you were planning to hit him, one after the other, until he bowed to you and said, “Okay I will give you what you want!”? Single No More pg. 19

So according to Les, when there is a ‘vacancy’ in your life for a spouse, this is not the way to do it!

You need to ask the following questions but certainly  not in an ‘interrogative-floodlights shining in their eyes-potential spouse mentally tied to a chair-hooked up to a live wire with questions flying at ever-increasing speed’ sort of way. For some peculiar reason potential spouses just don’t seem to like this approach very much. Go figure!

Please check out the following questions to see whether they fell from your lips in your last ‘first encounter’.

  1. So… what’s your profession? or
  2. What qualifications do you have?
  3. Where do you work?
  4. Do you enjoy your job?
  5. Where do you see yourself in 3-5 years…in 5-10 years?
  6. How do you feel about children…pets…discipling children…?
  7. Who do you think should discipline ‘our’ children?
  8. Do you prefer city life or living in the country?
  9. How do you feel about adoption?
  10. Do you agree that a woman’s place is in the home?
  11. Do you think a man should foot all the household bills?
  12. How do you feel about a woman being the higher earner in a marriage?

Well…after that I can’t think of anything to say. Can you?

DivineSparks

Oh…oh, How much do you earn?

Aaaaaaaaaah…! Romance

Just saw this and just had to share it. I think it’s ‘muy romantique’…don’t know what language that’s suppose to be but it works for me.

All happiness, blessing and love to the lovely couple.
Watch it and aaaaaaah!

Eternal Bridegroom

Amidst the clutter of life, it is easy to forget that all the beauty we see, all that we call true LIFE and all the best things we pursue are merely shadows of the heart of our God and King. It is He who is the best and greatest prize and the first and the absolute Bridegroom worth pursuing. It is for Him that mankind was made.

Six Thousand years of life upon the earth, of struggles both spiritual and natural, uphill climbs and valleys low and all of this because the great God who needs nothing desires to lavish His love upon a people. A people who would, through good times or bad, of their own free will embrace His friendship and eternal love; that they would have and maintain a heart-connect with Him, even if things don’t go our way.

An Eternal Bridegroom and a people to marry.

While We Wait – Be Awesome!

While waiting and hoping that we have a chance to fulfil our desire for marriage and scrabbling out of bed 6 times per night…socks on the floor, toilet seats left up, too much laundry, way too much ironing and the inevitable ‘tap on the shoulder’…ahem, let’s get busy serving others, laugh a lot and definitely, be awesome now. Why wait?

Kudos to the brilliance behind this video. Hats off to ya!

The Church’s Biggest Challenge: Singles?

Lauren says, “I do believe that there should be some place where I, and other singles, can acknowledge the desire for sexual relationships and, in the context of rich church tradition and in the company of older Christians, try to figure out what we can do about it.”

That’s a fair request.

“Seriously, folks, what church do you know that actually talks to teens about why not to sleep around? And then we send these kids off to college and expect them to stay chaste for four years? Even if a church provides minimal help along this line for the high school set—mainly because that is the age range where many people first have sex—church reinforcement dribbles to nothing during the college years. Unfortunately, the 20-24 age bracket has the highest abortion rates in this country.”

…Ouch. She’s got a point.

“Christian singles I talk to considered virginity as a waiting room until God produced the right mate. When that waiting room started to look like permanent lodging, despair set in.”

“And it’s not just the doing without sex. Have you ever noticed how singles never get touched? It’s living in this bubble of no hugs, no physical contact whatsoever. Small wonder so many revert to pets (I have three cuddly cats) and professional massages.”

“Singles struggle through all this alone. The childless ones get mocked at family reunions or treated as though they are still teen-agers. Promiscuous friends who break every biblical rule in the book end up married, with healthy children. God sure didn’t punish them. But he’s not rewarding us. And so, singles see their reasons for abstinence fading as they arrive in their mid-thirties. Women see their fertile years creep down to the single digits. All the old arguments about waiting for God to bring them romance—remember Ann Kiemel’s book I Gave God Time?—don’t ring true anymore.”

These excerpts are from an article, ‘No One Wants to Talk About It‘ by Julia Duin which caused a big stir more than a decade ago. Has the Church succeeded in at least attempting to address these issues?  I don’t by any means put myself forward as a panacea of truth in these matters…hey, I’m unmarried…sigh, but I am willing to have the conversation, facilitate the discussion and try to light a candle or even just a spark. As the article aptly states, the usual clichés do not work, they are not helpful and they are certainly not life-giving.

I would therefore like to invite you, the Church to join me in dissecting this issue to come up with Godly solutions, because God has one…two…an infinite supply of answers to our every woe. So…

Follow me on Twitter or be a friend on FB and let’s get this thing addressed! One can chase a thousand, two ten thousand but all of us? Great things could happen!