Marry Me For God’s Sake!

“If you want to be free to serve Jesus, there’s no question—stay single. Marriage takes a lot of time. But if you want to become more like Jesus, I can’t imagine any better thing to do than to get married. Being married forces you to face some character issues you’d never have to face otherwise.” Sacred Marriage by Gary L. Thomas

As such, I think I am perfectly poised to fill this vacancy in your life for the following reasons:

  • I am still a work in progress therefore I am constantly growing, changing and on a journey to becoming whole.

    Obstacle

    Obstacle (Photo credit: The U.S. Army)

  • I am well equipped to buff, polish and shine your own personality and to help develop character, resilience and patience thus helping you in your journey towards reflecting Jesus more and more each day.
  • My various idiosyncrasies, though diminishing…multiplying in flux, will provide an ample supply of challenges to contribute to the sanctification process, the Potter’s wheel and the refiner’s fire that are so necessary in your journey toward dying to self.

I believe I come as a full package capable of advancing your ultimate goal to be holy, to love God first, most and best and to love your fellow-man as yourself. Marry me will accelerate the sharpening and polishing of your character, heart motivations and your ability to grow in understanding of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

Did I say I’m not perfect yet? According to Sacred Marriage by Gary L. Thomas, that makes me perfect for you!  So, this is my case for marriage. Do you have any questions?

My thanks to the Institute of American Values for their Literature Review of the Consequences of Marriage for African Americans. It is a good read. Go check it out for the full review.

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Is He/She Interested?

Found this article on FB and thought I’d do a self-assessment…dissection? Anyhow, the purple bits will be my take:

  • She tells you. Eventually
  • Pay attention to body language.  If she leans into you, or if she is kind of side ways to you.  If she is leaning into you, she’s interested. Naturally attentive but not necessarily interested in you as a potential ‘beau’… If she is sideways, she is creating distance.  Purse on the table in the restaurant is putting an object between you two, thus causing space.  When dancing, if she is creating arms length space, she isn’t into you. – I’m being my ‘usual’ shy, reserved self. Yes! I said SHY. What?
  • If she is nosy and asks many questions about you, and your life, she is totally into you. – or is intentional about investing her time wisely…hence the investigation…’interest’.
  • You’re not that funny, but she laughs at everything you say.  She is totally into you. – or she is over-stimulated on caffeine (dutch courage) or genuinely doesn’t want you to feel embarrassed that the date is a bum.
  • She always has time for you.  She’s into you. – yeah, or she’s just a naturally kind, patience, longsuffering and caring person. Don’t be pessimistic…she’s into you…
  • She never leaves you hanging, or a call/text message/posting unanswered.  She answers right away.  She’s into you. until you see this message, ‘SERVICE ERROR 305:MESSAGE DELIVERY FAILED. FURTHER MESSAGES WILL BE CHARGED TO YOUR ACCOUNT.’
  • On a date, she twirls her hair, or a necklace, or plays with a button on her blouse, she is into you. – she could be bored or nervous?!
  • She has empathy for you when something goes array, or something bothers you.  She has feelings for you, and wants to show it. – or she has a pastoral anointing and is just naturally a caring, empathic person.
  • She mothers in a small way.  She wants to care for you, and so she is into you. – …sigh…maybe. Nurses care for you.
  • She goes to the restroom a lot on your date.  She is making sure she looks her best for you. – or she is limiting the amount of time she has to sit in front of you…laughing at your jokes. No, I don’t mean to be nasty, I’m being honest. Come on now, don’t leave me standing here on my own!
  • She gives you undivided attention.  No cell calls or texts when with you. – She learnt a long time ago to treat people as you would like to be treated.
  • She compliments you, encourages you, and sends appreciation your way.  She’s into you. – …kind, honest, considerate of other people’s feelings.
  • She bats her eyelashes and smiles a lot.  She’s into you. – that sounds more like it…are those false lashes getting in her eyes? No? She may be into you beau, wooohooo!
  • She seems like she doesn’t want the date to end, she will kind of be blusy when it is time to wrap it up.  She wants to spend more time with you.  She is into you. – There’s nothing interesting on tv at 8:30pm so why not? But it’s quite likely she enjoys being with you…this time round.
  • She finds ways to touch you.  A bump, touching your shirt and complimenting it, talking and touching you as she talks. – gotcha! Woohooo! If she does that to everyone, she could be…a socialTourette’.
  • She asks questions about things you like to do so she can see herself doing those things with you.  Future thinking. – Intentionally assessing how much time to invest. So we have anything in common? Is this worth pursuing?
  • Online.  There aren’t too many of your posts that she doesn’t comment on. -Assessment…curiousity…maybe enchantment.
  • Online.  She goes the extra effort and posts on your wall, or personal blog space. – you could be in for a chance.
CatnipComic070_Colour

CatnipComic070_Colour (Photo credit: Catnip Cat by Jeff Hoyle)

No, this is not about me trying to discourage any lovely folk from believing and/or using these tips. I’m merely pointing out that people are…well, people! We are seldom ‘cookie-cutter-cute’ and seldom do we adhere to set rules of emotional conduct just because there is a statistic in the ether.

My addition to this would be to listen carefully to both the spoken words and the silences. I believe it is unwise to try to fit people into boxes because we then set ourselves up for disappointment. We all know what roses look like but if we were to assume that ALL roses look-alike in their detail and smell alike, we would miss countless varieties of roses on the assumption that ‘we know that one already’.

It is my opinion therefore that you add wisdom, prayer and a pound or two of common sense when trying to assess an individual and even so, it is time alone that will reveal the truth. As much as we all wish God in His infinite wisdom would take ‘counsel’ and hand us a manual for guaranteed success in these matters, the bottom line is we can never really know the heart of anyone. Not by statistics, assessment nor even the things they say.

That’s why it is so important to enter in with both eyes wide open, a heart submitted to God’s wisdom, a willingness to wait, check and double-check and even then employ the wisdom of a multitude of good counsel. You would be amazed how skilled some are at deception until you are almost in too deep.

Selah!

Eternal Bridegroom

Amidst the clutter of life, it is easy to forget that all the beauty we see, all that we call true LIFE and all the best things we pursue are merely shadows of the heart of our God and King. It is He who is the best and greatest prize and the first and the absolute Bridegroom worth pursuing. It is for Him that mankind was made.

Six Thousand years of life upon the earth, of struggles both spiritual and natural, uphill climbs and valleys low and all of this because the great God who needs nothing desires to lavish His love upon a people. A people who would, through good times or bad, of their own free will embrace His friendship and eternal love; that they would have and maintain a heart-connect with Him, even if things don’t go our way.

An Eternal Bridegroom and a people to marry.

The Church’s Biggest Challenge: Singles?

Lauren says, “I do believe that there should be some place where I, and other singles, can acknowledge the desire for sexual relationships and, in the context of rich church tradition and in the company of older Christians, try to figure out what we can do about it.”

That’s a fair request.

“Seriously, folks, what church do you know that actually talks to teens about why not to sleep around? And then we send these kids off to college and expect them to stay chaste for four years? Even if a church provides minimal help along this line for the high school set—mainly because that is the age range where many people first have sex—church reinforcement dribbles to nothing during the college years. Unfortunately, the 20-24 age bracket has the highest abortion rates in this country.”

…Ouch. She’s got a point.

“Christian singles I talk to considered virginity as a waiting room until God produced the right mate. When that waiting room started to look like permanent lodging, despair set in.”

“And it’s not just the doing without sex. Have you ever noticed how singles never get touched? It’s living in this bubble of no hugs, no physical contact whatsoever. Small wonder so many revert to pets (I have three cuddly cats) and professional massages.”

“Singles struggle through all this alone. The childless ones get mocked at family reunions or treated as though they are still teen-agers. Promiscuous friends who break every biblical rule in the book end up married, with healthy children. God sure didn’t punish them. But he’s not rewarding us. And so, singles see their reasons for abstinence fading as they arrive in their mid-thirties. Women see their fertile years creep down to the single digits. All the old arguments about waiting for God to bring them romance—remember Ann Kiemel’s book I Gave God Time?—don’t ring true anymore.”

These excerpts are from an article, ‘No One Wants to Talk About It‘ by Julia Duin which caused a big stir more than a decade ago. Has the Church succeeded in at least attempting to address these issues?  I don’t by any means put myself forward as a panacea of truth in these matters…hey, I’m unmarried…sigh, but I am willing to have the conversation, facilitate the discussion and try to light a candle or even just a spark. As the article aptly states, the usual clichés do not work, they are not helpful and they are certainly not life-giving.

I would therefore like to invite you, the Church to join me in dissecting this issue to come up with Godly solutions, because God has one…two…an infinite supply of answers to our every woe. So…

Follow me on Twitter or be a friend on FB and let’s get this thing addressed! One can chase a thousand, two ten thousand but all of us? Great things could happen!

Holy Things

He turned over the plans for everything that God’s Spirit had brought to his mind: the design of the courtyards, the arrangements of rooms, and the closets for storing all the holy things. The Message Bible, 1 Chronicles 28:12

This is a journey I have embarked on with my faith anchored in the hope of sharing my life with someone, a suitable counterpart for me but in all I do I must remember this

SimplyHoly

It is God who sets for me great borders

And puts great passions in my heart –

It is He who knows His plans for me

He created my inner parts –

He knows my todays and all my tomorrows

And I must trust He knows what’s best –

So as I take each hopeful step

I must to Him  my plans subject.

So in planning and strategizing and doing all the wonderful things we must do, can do or should do …determining the design of the courtyards, the arrangements of rooms, and the closets for storing…all so we can get what we want, let us remember we are in fact first and foremost, holy things – His Temple!

‘Dating with Passion’ by Rob Eagar will challenge, correct and re-align your thinking as you plan your pursuit of marriage. It will help you ‘design the courtyards’ while emphasizing the main thing, You Are Holy Things! Then learn as much as you can about setting boundaries from ‘Boundaries in Dating’ by Dr. Henry Cloud  and Dr. John Townsend. Check them out here…Never, never forget, you are a Holy Thing!

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xx

The Naked Truth

Belong2Jesus

W A I T! ! ! !   Follow Tweety Bird’s example above…and say it like you mean it so you don’t slip into depression in 3 mins 20 sec! Now watch the trailer then please go buy the film, It offers a Christian perspective on finding purpose while single…yay!!! good news at last!

Priceless

 GOD put the Man into a deep sleep. As he slept he removed one of his ribs and replaced it with flesh.  GOD then used the rib that he had taken from the Man to make Woman and presented her to the Man. The Man said, “Finally! Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh! Name her Woman for she was made from Man.” Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh. The Message Bible, Gen 2:21-24

 

Adam & Eve photo AdamEve.jpg

I can’t seem to find out who created this, but it’s ‘inspired’.

Did God Really Say…? Part 2

Maintaining Faith When Christian and Single

I had such an experience recently…heck, I’m still having it. I’ve been down a path…up a mountain toward my own Mt. Moriah with my eye squarely fixed on ‘happy ever after’. Like Abraham I was sure I heard God say… ! But like most people I know, I thought the destination was the goal, the purpose, the divine intention when in fact, the destination turned out to be the journey itself.

I should probably be upset with God but hey, how can the pot accuse the Potter of faulty design? In fact, I find that I needed this journey up the mountain. It was a time to reflect and question and remember

why I trust God. I needed time to remember the past and consider how far I had come. It was a time to settle, once and for all the question of marital desperation…‘Am I desperate enough to settle?’

wait

wait (Photo credit: CmdrFire)

It was a long a tedious journey which involved many days of wondering, ‘Did God Really Say?’ It included a struggle to remain steadfast in my faith in the God who promised to give bread when we ask for bread, never a stone. But, I have no regrets. I can still stand tall today, plus I now also have a solid awareness of a holy resolution and a new fascination with God that’s burning strong within me. So as I remember the significance of this day…Jesus Christ crucified for me…I draw more grace to close the door…although this is proving a bit of a challenge as there seems to be a foot stuck in the doorway.

I needed to be on this journey, in this place so I could come to this holy resolution within my heart. So I’ll wait!

Sparks!

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Single No More

I came across a wonderful book a few months ago aptly called, ‘Single No More’ by Les Crause. Recently revised and released in kindle under the title, ‘Finding God’s Perfect Match: Hope For Christian Singles’…I prefer the old name and yes, I am going to use the old version here.

Chapter 1 begins thus,

The title of this book is ‘Single No More’, and my goal is to make sure that by the time you have finished reading and applying the principles, you will indeed no longer be single.

Suffice to say, I more or less sped through the book in a flash and knew right  away I needed  to go through  it step by step …s l o w l y. This blog will be a documentary of the step-by-step process through this teaching so I invite you to come along with me.  Throughout my exploration of this ‘other’ way, I will add my opinions and findings relating to our spiritual, mental and physical preparation so don’t be surprised when I start talking about gifts development, fashion and personal hygiene?!!

In the meantime, check out his Kindle here

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