Singleness in the Black Church

only the lonely
Image by bandita via Flickr

I came across an old article in the Voice from February 2010 which brought to the fore for me again the issue of the level of singleness within the Black Church, especially among women. As a single woman myself, this is a point of sadness…disappointment…no, concern. In response to the article one woman made the comment that some single Christian females opt to ‘date’ non-Christian men and sometimes get pregnant in the process. She goes on to suggest that this is ‘the reward they get for being faithful to God’ with some scepticism.

Whereas I can understand and even identify with much of what she says, this is where I take a different path as pregnancy is NOT a ‘reward for faithfulness’. That is like saying that because I have been faithful for ‘xteen’ months or years, this one time that I, of my own volition, make the choice to indulge myself in the potential joy of sexual intimacy, God owes it to me to protect me from becoming pregnant! Whoa!

God loves us. He desires the very best for us and wants us to make the choices which will lead to life, full and complete in Him. However we cannot and should not allow ourselves to be lied to by the enemy when he whispers, ‘See, the one time you ‘slip and fall on it’ He makes you get pregnant!’ First of all, let us be brutally honest. Did I really ‘slip and fall on it’? or did I allow myself to walk down paths with obvious potholes and dark, intimate corners for me to stumble into. Is it not that I agreed to play games with the truth to see how close I can get to the edge of sin without falling into it…when I fell?

Wisdom dictates that we must accept that the Devil does not have our best interest at heart and will always find glorious ways of enticing us into death with his ‘after all, ‘what’s wrong with going to that 6’4″ hunk of a man’s house after dark in my attempt to evangelise him?’ REALLY???? Let us choose wisdom…heck, common sense says if he’s gorgeous and ticks my nubility list then it is up to me to guard my heart AND my feet lest I fall, whether he is a sweet guy with a wonderful personality or the son of a Preacher man!

Although singleness is NOT an enviable position as far as I am concerned, it is still up to every single woman to STAND, and after you have done absolutely everything you can…still STAND, even if you have to do it with tears running down your cheeks and a whimper on your lips!

And if you stumble, fall or swoon in the process…get the hell up, run to Daddy-God, accept your error, expect to bear the consequences sista girl and STAND…again!

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