Found this article on FB and thought I’d do a self-assessment…dissection? Anyhow, the purple bits will be my take:
- She tells you. Eventually
- Pay attention to body language. If she leans into you, or if she is kind of side ways to you. If she is leaning into you, she’s interested. Naturally attentive but not necessarily interested in you as a potential ‘beau’… If she is sideways, she is creating distance. Purse on the table in the restaurant is putting an object between you two, thus causing space. When dancing, if she is creating arms length space, she isn’t into you. – I’m being my ‘usual’ shy, reserved self. Yes! I said SHY. What?
- If she is nosy and asks many questions about you, and your life, she is totally into you. – or is intentional about investing her time wisely…hence the investigation…’interest’.
- You’re not that funny, but she laughs at everything you say. She is totally into you. – or she is over-stimulated on caffeine (dutch courage) or genuinely doesn’t want you to feel embarrassed that the date is a bum.
- She always has time for you. She’s into you. – yeah, or she’s just a naturally kind, patience, longsuffering and caring person. Don’t be pessimistic…she’s into you…
- She never leaves you hanging, or a call/text message/posting unanswered. She answers right away. She’s into you. – until you see this message, ‘SERVICE ERROR 305:MESSAGE DELIVERY FAILED. FURTHER MESSAGES WILL BE CHARGED TO YOUR ACCOUNT.’
- On a date, she twirls her hair, or a necklace, or plays with a button on her blouse, she is into you. – she could be bored or nervous?!
- She has empathy for you when something goes array, or something bothers you. She has feelings for you, and wants to show it. – or she has a pastoral anointing and is just naturally a caring, empathic person.
- She mothers in a small way. She wants to care for you, and so she is into you. – …sigh…maybe. Nurses care for you.
- She goes to the restroom a lot on your date. She is making sure she looks her best for you. – or she is limiting the amount of time she has to sit in front of you…laughing at your jokes. No, I don’t mean to be nasty, I’m being honest. Come on now, don’t leave me standing here on my own!
- She gives you undivided attention. No cell calls or texts when with you. – She learnt a long time ago to treat people as you would like to be treated.
- She compliments you, encourages you, and sends appreciation your way. She’s into you. – …kind, honest, considerate of other people’s feelings.
- She bats her eyelashes and smiles a lot. She’s into you. – that sounds more like it…are those false lashes getting in her eyes? No? She may be into you beau, wooohooo!
- She seems like she doesn’t want the date to end, she will kind of be blusy when it is time to wrap it up. She wants to spend more time with you. She is into you. – There’s nothing interesting on tv at 8:30pm so why not? But it’s quite likely she enjoys being with you…this time round.
- She finds ways to touch you. A bump, touching your shirt and complimenting it, talking and touching you as she talks. – gotcha! Woohooo! If she does that to everyone, she could be…a social ‘Tourette’.
- She asks questions about things you like to do so she can see herself doing those things with you. Future thinking. – Intentionally assessing how much time to invest. So we have anything in common? Is this worth pursuing?
- Online. There aren’t too many of your posts that she doesn’t comment on. -Assessment…curiousity…maybe enchantment.
- Online. She goes the extra effort and posts on your wall, or personal blog space. – you could be in for a chance.
No, this is not about me trying to discourage any lovely folk from believing and/or using these tips. I’m merely pointing out that people are…well, people! We are seldom ‘cookie-cutter-cute’ and seldom do we adhere to set rules of emotional conduct just because there is a statistic in the ether.
My addition to this would be to listen carefully to both the spoken words and the silences. I believe it is unwise to try to fit people into boxes because we then set ourselves up for disappointment. We all know what roses look like but if we were to assume that ALL roses look-alike in their detail and smell alike, we would miss countless varieties of roses on the assumption that ‘we know that one already’.
It is my opinion therefore that you add wisdom, prayer and a pound or two of common sense when trying to assess an individual and even so, it is time alone that will reveal the truth. As much as we all wish God in His infinite wisdom would take ‘counsel’ and hand us a manual for guaranteed success in these matters, the bottom line is we can never really know the heart of anyone. Not by statistics, assessment nor even the things they say.
That’s why it is so important to enter in with both eyes wide open, a heart submitted to God’s wisdom, a willingness to wait, check and double-check and even then employ the wisdom of a multitude of good counsel. You would be amazed how skilled some are at deception until you are almost in too deep.