The Church’s Biggest Challenge: Singles?

Lauren says, “I do believe that there should be some place where I, and other singles, can acknowledge the desire for sexual relationships and, in the context of rich church tradition and in the company of older Christians, try to figure out what we can do about it.”

That’s a fair request.

“Seriously, folks, what church do you know that actually talks to teens about why not to sleep around? And then we send these kids off to college and expect them to stay chaste for four years? Even if a church provides minimal help along this line for the high school set—mainly because that is the age range where many people first have sex—church reinforcement dribbles to nothing during the college years. Unfortunately, the 20-24 age bracket has the highest abortion rates in this country.”

…Ouch. She’s got a point.

“Christian singles I talk to considered virginity as a waiting room until God produced the right mate. When that waiting room started to look like permanent lodging, despair set in.”

“And it’s not just the doing without sex. Have you ever noticed how singles never get touched? It’s living in this bubble of no hugs, no physical contact whatsoever. Small wonder so many revert to pets (I have three cuddly cats) and professional massages.”

“Singles struggle through all this alone. The childless ones get mocked at family reunions or treated as though they are still teen-agers. Promiscuous friends who break every biblical rule in the book end up married, with healthy children. God sure didn’t punish them. But he’s not rewarding us. And so, singles see their reasons for abstinence fading as they arrive in their mid-thirties. Women see their fertile years creep down to the single digits. All the old arguments about waiting for God to bring them romance—remember Ann Kiemel’s book I Gave God Time?—don’t ring true anymore.”

These excerpts are from an article, ‘No One Wants to Talk About It‘ by Julia Duin which caused a big stir more than a decade ago. Has the Church succeeded in at least attempting to address these issues?  I don’t by any means put myself forward as a panacea of truth in these matters…hey, I’m unmarried…sigh, but I am willing to have the conversation, facilitate the discussion and try to light a candle or even just a spark. As the article aptly states, the usual clichés do not work, they are not helpful and they are certainly not life-giving.

I would therefore like to invite you, the Church to join me in dissecting this issue to come up with Godly solutions, because God has one…two…an infinite supply of answers to our every woe. So…

Follow me on Twitter or be a friend on FB and let’s get this thing addressed! One can chase a thousand, two ten thousand but all of us? Great things could happen!

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “The Church’s Biggest Challenge: Singles?

  1. I think as single Christians we are often our own biggest obstacle. Have you ever noticed how challenging it is to get us to engage in the discussions to come up with possible solutions and to commit to being our brothers’ keepers? Instead, we stay in our own little corners licking our wounds, complaining that the Church is failing singles. But hey! Aren’t WE the Church?

    • I think to some degree it’s a matter of unnecessary shame regarding the issue of our need for intimacy, both sexual and otherwise. Most Christian singles I know seem shy of even admitting that this need is an issue of concern in their lives so asking them to publicly engage in a conversation about it is mostly met with, ‘oh…aahm…I think I’m working that day. Sorry.’

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s